Ask a silly question, get a moldy pizza

September 22, 2015


Kris Milstead
The Sneezing Opossum

They say an elephant never forgets, so be certain not to forget that September 22 is Elephant Appreciation Day.

September 23 is Dog in Politics Day. Start a campaign for Fido as a write-in candidate. He can’t be any worse than what we’re facing in 2016!

September 24 marks the bane of my existence with Punctuation Day. Maybe this should also be Editor Appreciation Day.

On September 25, I promise I’m never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. No, not Rick Roll Day. It’s One Hit Wonders Day.

Celebrate Love Note Day September 26 by writing a letter to that certain someone to tell them how much you care. I plan on writing a sonnet to my cat.

September 27 is Tourism Day. Put on some cargo shorts, wear socks with your sandals, and paint some sunscreen on your nose. No one will know you’re a local.

September 28: Drink Beer Day. No matter how you decide to celebrate, say a toast in my name.

September 29: With that hangover from yesterday, International Coffee Day will be a welcome respite. You might want to stick to the coffee shop in your own kitchen.

September 30 is for all those times you’ve said, “Can I ask a stupid question?” Today that answer is a resounding “Yes!” It’s Ask A Stupid Question Day.

October 1 is for poets who don’t know it, but their feet show it because they’re long fellows. Sorry, got carried away as today is Poetry Day.

October 2: In honor of World Smile Day, grin widely at everyone. They’ll wonder what you’re up to. It’s also Name Your Car Day. My car is named Frodo.

I suspect that a number of people are wondering how in the world they can celebrate Virus Appreciation Day. Well, October 3 is also Boyfriend’s Day. Celebrate both by getting your flu shot together.

October 4 is Improve Your Office Day. Mine would be improved by a foosball table. It’s also Ship In A Bottle Day, so you could celebrate by putting one in your office, but I’m holding out for the foosball table.

On October 5, we celebrate those who helped us get where we are today: World Teachers Day. It also happens to be Do Something Nice Day, so I plan to see if I can finally get my name off the blackboard.

October 6 is one of the most exciting holidays ever: Mad Hatter Day. Put on a colorful top hat, pour yourself a cup of tea, and celebrate your un-birthday by randomly asking people why a raven is like a writing desk.

October 7 is definitely worth spending a lot of time observing: Bathtub Day. Draw a nice hot bath, pour your favorite scented bubble bath, and relax.

October 8 is World Octopus Day. The blue ringed octopus is venomous enough to kill a human, and their genetic code is so complex it’s almost alien. Octopi have three hearts and most live up to five years. I find that a huge relief or they might be the dominant intelligence on Earth. All hail the mighty Cthulhu!

October 9 is Moldy Cheese Day. Might I suggest a blue cheese or Gorgonzola pizza, since October is also Pizza Month?

Reset your palate on October 10 with Cake Decorating Day. I don’t suggest moldy cheesecake.

October 11: Take Your Teddy Bear To Work Day. Don’t listen to the haters. Hasn’t your teddy bear always been there for you?

October 12: Moment of Frustration Day. Let go of figuring out the riddle from Mad Hatter Day.  

October 13 could be International Skeptics Day, but I doubt it. It also happens to be Face Your Fears Day, but I remain skeptical.

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