Trump Derangement and Incredulity Syndrome

August 16, 2018

Once you have it, it’s almost impossible to get rid of. There is no known cure. The stages of this disease cross the political spectrum. If you are racist, greedy, and not very compassionate, your symptoms lead you to believe that anything Trump says is true.


If you are of sound mind, Trump Derangement Syndrome presents as incredulity that anyone still supports Swirlyhead McOrangeface.


But they do! Trump’s approval rating among Republicans is 88 percent, and among white evangelical Christians, it’s even higher. (When did Jesus say, “And a thrice-married tit judge who has affairs with porn stars shall lead them”? We couldn’t find that in the Bible.)


Among those suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome, nothing seems to stick. Not his claim that the United States “pays for 90 percent of NATO.” (In reality, we pay 22 percent of NATO.)


Not his claim that he got Queen Elizabeth to “review the honor guard for the first time in 70 years.” (In reality, the British queen has only been on the throne for 66 years and she regularly reviews the honor guard.)


And not his disastrous performance in Helsinki, where he stood alongside Russian President Vladimir Putin and declared, “I don’t see any reason why [Russia] would be [involved in election meddling in 2016].”  (In reality, every US intelligence agency believes Russia meddled in the election, and Trump later claimed that he meant to say he didn’t see any reason why it would not be Russia.)  


Afterwards, Trump and Putin came out holding hands and blushing deeply at each other. Allegedly.


This comes on the heels of the Department of Justice indicting 12 members of the Russian military for their involvement in compromising the integrity of our election.


Since Helsinki, the trial of Trump’s former campaign manager, Paul Manafort, got underway. Manafort is on trial for money laundering and failure to register as a foreign lobbyist for Ukraine.


Besides suffering from a terminal case of Trump Derangement Syndrome, Manafort’s trial is important because he was allegedly present at the 2016 Trump Tower meeting with Russian officials, along with Donald Trump Jr. and Trump son-in-law Jared Kushner.


Trump admitted this month that the meeting did take place and that the purpose was to gather opposition research on Hillary Clinton—in other words, Orange McBluster is willing to sell out his own son and his daughter’s husband. Until now, Don Jr. and Kushner have claimed the meeting was about US adoptions of Russian children.


So, does this mean Trump Derangement Syndrome is contagious?


Trump’s enemies are not Russians; they’re Americans. A short list of the people he wants to silence: Former CIA Director John Brennan, former FBI Director James Comey, former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, former acting FBI Director Andrew McCabe, former Obama National Security Adviser Susan Rice, and former George W. Bush CIA and National Security Agency Director General Michael Hayden.


Yes, most of these people spent made their careers protecting American lives and American interests. But they said things that hurt Trump’s feelings. Brennan called him “dangerous for our Nation.” Clapper called him “petty.” Hayden compared him to Hitler.


Keep in mind, most of these people are Republicans. And Trump wants to strip them of their security clearances because they said something bad about him.


Yes, we laugh around here so we don’t cry, but some of the news is enough to leave any compassionate person in tears. Trump’s “zero tolerance” approach to immigration meant nearly 3,000 children were ripped from their parents’ arms at the border. Border patrol tells them the children are getting a bath, but they never come back.


This includes families who arrived at the border seeking asylum, which under international law, they can only do at the border of the country they wish to enter. They must present at the US border to apply, but if they do, some goon takes their kids away from them.


President Douchebag says this policy actually came from Democrats, but of course he’s lying. The Obama Administration detained children arriving at the border without an accompanying adult. Families were detained temporarily, but they were kept together and usually released while their cases were still pending.


This new policy of routinely separating all parents and children who arrive at the border undocumented began in October 2017, the brainchild of White House policy advisor and Lord Voldemort lookalike, Stephen Miller.


The American Civil Liberties Union challenged the legality of the family separations, and the administration was ordered to have all the children returned to their parents by July 26. Younger children were to be returned almost immediately. “These are firm deadlines,” the judge said. “They’re not aspirational goals.”


Nearly a month later, only about half the children have been returned. Some parents had been sent back to their country of origin while their children were still held here.


Meanwhile, Trump has gotten to work on the next phase of attacking those least able to protect themselves. (Say, evangelicals, didn’t Jesus have something to say about that? Sermon on the Mount? As ye have done unto them, ye have done unto Me? Something like that...)


The next stage is to denaturalize and deport naturalized citizens if they “lied” on their citizenship application. That almost sounds reasonable—cruel, but reasonable—except it’s almost impossible not to lie on the citizenship application.


One of the questions asks: “Have you EVER [emphasis original] committed a crime of any kind (even if you were not arrested, cited, charged with, or tried for that crime)?” It used to ask if you were “afflicted with sexual deviation.” Any gay immigrant coming from a country where homosexuality is illegal was forced to lie twice.


Will this country come to its senses? Or is Trump Derangement Syndrome fatal? Take a Healthy Dose of Reality and call us in the morning. 

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